I Never Shook Babies, I Never Beat No Ladies.

"I used to do things and I'd say things and Jesus I was evil."
~Darcy Clay

A small step. After a very brief yet highly intense internal struggle I have decided to create a band blog for Kid Cynical. Now I can lob my dubious pearls of wisdom into the ever-more-ridiculous realm of the interwebs for your perusal, like so many tear gas grenades lobbed into a crowd of peaceful protesters. The effect will most likely be the same: muffled screams, hacking coughs, weeping eyes, a putrid smell and crowds rapidly dispersing from the scene.

But don't let my self-congratulatory tone put you off. Read on!

The whole crux of this blog thing is to fill you in on exciting band shit. In the highly likely event that nothing exciting will be happening most days, you will be able to read my barely coherent literary wanderings/stumblings. Think of it as the belletristic equivalent of watching a shit-faced drunk fumbling in his pocket for a cigarette with his right hand, while his left simultaneously attempts to aim an arcing rope of recycled Lion Red away from his own leg. It ain't high theatre, but it's funny and compelling in a "I can't look away from that horrific confluence of human misery" kind of way.

In other words, the best kind of entertainment.

Anyways, this is just the first of many ramblings, whether you like it or not. If you do, tell your friends (including the fucking annoying one who always hangs around even though he/she is clearly not wanted and compounds everyone else's resentment by chiming into intelligent conversations with inane prattle or completely irrelevant horseshit) to read the blog and download our e.p. "Kick With Both Feet" from our bacefook page (htpp://www.facebook.com/kidcynical). That would be damn swell.

In this week's Band Member Updates: Rik and I are furthering our tertiary education, Ginge is studying/thinking of not studying anymore, and Julz is working his sweet ass job and plotting the re-introduction of Zyklon B into mainstream governmental pharmaceuticals. Collectively we're beginning to work on some new material which we'll hopefully bust out for you fullas some time in the next couple months.

Stay alert for the spread of fascism and remember: if you're not angry you're not paying attention.

~Mitch. xo

P.S. If you're in Rotorua we're playing this Saturday night at Teazar Bar in town. You should come, bey!